Square One.

It's funny how life, would somehow brings you back to where you started. It's the same cycle, over and over again. How do I even break this cycle I'm in now, I don't even know. I'm currently in a cycle where everything is not as what I expected, people I thought have changed, surprise surprise, didn't change. And I keep on pushing through, trying to make do, counting every single good thing and blessings, every day. I have to keep reminding myself, tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be different. But once tomorrow becomes yesterday, I will once again lay in bed, thinking, oh damn, it's still the same. I guess if I change my mindset, things would be different. But that's old news. I am as volatile as I can be. Flexible to the very core of me. But why do I feel like I'm playing the victim game here? Or am I a victim? I surely don't want to be one. 

Still, life goes on. There's this little bundle of joy, my ray of sunshine, despite giving me thousands of reasons to be worried about, he gives me the most joy. My highlight of the day. Now I know I am grateful to have him, I know he is and will be forever the center of my life, but I can't shake off this feeling that I am still the rotten, broken, shattered, glued together person inside.

All in all, the one thing I can do now is keep counting on my blessings. And put my trust and faith in god. For I know he knows better.

I pray that he will gives us strength and courage to always do what's right and to go on living our life.

Love,