Sleep is luxury.

Have you ever feel the air is moving around you? You might. When you stay laying on your back wide awake and you cannot sleep; with no fan or air-cond, you might feel the air is moving. You feel it brushing your feet, greeting, saying hello, I'm air. And you can hear various of sounds, of cars moving on the road, the water pump of your neighbor's pond.

And you wonder, what is the meaning of your life to you. You started to wander into the endless possibilities of "what ifs". Wishing in every turn of where your thoughts went, you will fall asleep. Assuming that thoughts, at nights, are as random as every passing strangers you meet. But you didn't fall asleep.

And you started to conclude everything. Since it's still early in the new year, you are starting to make new resolutions. Regardless of how many you have abandoned before.

And you laugh at yourself. You are joking with yourself.

You realized that it is still a long way to go before you can claim yourself, yours. And it is still a long way to go before, when you are alone, you can smile at yourself and said, well done, mate.

Still a long way to go.

Now sleep.

*Sleep is a luxury I can barely afford these days. Most of the time I would lie awake, and wander into the unknown.